Don't make out with my wife yet
apparently the secret to your success is patron
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
