the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
i just had sex bonerless
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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