Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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