I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Randomize
