You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
