Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
