i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
