Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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