So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
