Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
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