i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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