i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
We got so high we made milksteak
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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