WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
