Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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