Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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