Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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