I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Randomize
