Dual....:-)
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
