I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
