No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
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