do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize