Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I want to make a zoo with you.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Randomize
