soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Randomize
