bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
