So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Randomize
