batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
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