physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
