It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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