he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
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