i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
