And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
