I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
