thus making me awesome and them whores
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
