I didn't shave. On purpose
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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