Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I intend to get homeless drunk
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Randomize
