A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
I am puke
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
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