So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
