This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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