Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Randomize
