My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
