I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
