I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
My feet surprised me
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
