Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
