This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
