'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Randomize
