I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
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