she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize
