Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I faked an abortion last night.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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