She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize