He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
